if not now, when

Danas je obeležen dan sećanja na Holokaust. Slučajno trenutno sam na pola knjige italijanskog pisca Prima Levija Ako ne sada, kada (Se non ora, quando), koja prati grupu ruskih Jevreja kako se počevši od 1943. probijaju od Rusije, preko Ukrajne i Poljske ka zapadnoj Evropi. Levijev opus je najviše pod uticajem njegovom logoraškog iskustva, koje je usledilo posle kratke boravka sa italijanskim partizanima.

Kao naslov, Levi koristi jevrejsku izreku koja se pripisuje Hilelu Starijem, jednom od najvažnijih jevrejskih verskih vođa. U knjizi je izreka pretvorena u pesmu, koju u jednom trenutku recituje jedan od junaka. Knjigu čitam na engleskom pa je tako i prenosim.

Do you recognize us? We are the flock of the ghetto,
Fleeced for a thousand years, resigned to the offence.
We are the tailors, the scribes, and the cantors
Withered in the shadow of the Cross.
Now we have learned the paths of the forests,
We have learned to shoot, and we hit straight on.
If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
If not thus, how? And if not now, when?
Our brothers have risen to heaven
Through the ovens of Sobibor and of Treblinka,
They have dug themselves a grave in the air.
Only we few have survived
For the honor of our submerged people,
For vengeance, and for witness.
If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
If not thus, how? And if not now, when?
We are the sons of David and the stubborn ones of Massada.
Each of us bears in his pocket the stone
Which smashed the forehead of Goliath.
Brothers, away from the Europe of tombs:
Let us climb together toward the land
Where we will be men among other men.
If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
And if not thus, how? And if not now, when?

Posle recitovanja pesme i priče o njenom autoru, Martinu stolaru, Gedaleh vođa partizanske grupe kaže „That’s enough now: these aren’t the thoughts for everyday. They’re alright every now and then, but if you live with them you just poison yourself, and you’re not a partisan anymore. And bear this in mind: I believe only in three things: vodka, women and submachine gun. Once I also believed in reason, but now anymore“.

Levi je ovu knjigu smatrao svojim avanturističkim romanom i barem tokom prvih dvesta strana (dokle sam ja stigla) pratite napredovanje jedne čete, njihove razgovore o ratu, prethodnom životu, porodici i onome što ih tera napred, jer i na mestu odakle su krenuli su izdvojeni kao stranci.

Idem sad da nastavim knjigu. Ostavljam vas uz prvi deo emisije o Levijevoj poseti Aušvicu s’početka 80-ih.